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Self-love is Key
by Pati McDermott, CHT
Self-love provides the foundation for a happy and healthy inner world. It also holds the key to successful relationships of all kinds. When you love yourself, loving others flows naturally and easily..
People who were not validated by those who raised them often lack self-love but find ways to shower others with love, only to have that love dissipate like wind or air. The energy of love that flows with other people has real substance when it is based in loving yourself.
Loving Self can take Practice
If you know how to love someone or something else, you know how to love yourself. The energy that you feel when you love a song, a pet, a beautiful location, or a person is the same as the energy that you can learn to feel for yourself. Self-love is easy to learn, although sometimes it takes practice.
Watch for Positive Evidence
Look around for evidence of you loving yourself. Every time you do something good for yourself, that is evidence of you loving yourself. Practice doing that consistently until it starts to build and remain strong. When you eat a healthy meal, stop for a moment to feel the energy of love that caused you to choose such healthy food. When you stay on track with the evidence of self-love, you will notice each time you do something to take care of yourself, and are nice to yourself. You’ll also notice every time that you feel good about yourself. If there is evidence to the contrary, ignore those examples. Keep building on the positive examples and eventually you will find that you are consistently taking better and better care of yourself because you are building your self-love. All acts of self-care are evidence of self-love.
Try this Exercise
One exercise that you might like to try is to visualize a container inside of yourself, like a beautiful urn or an image that you like. In your mind, see that beautiful container inside of you. Fill that container with love energy and pay attention to how it feels to be filled with love. Keep that container filled by imagining a color or light filling you inside, held inside that container, and also emanating out from it. Fill yourself with love energy as full as you can until you become like a fountain, ever flowing and overflowing with the energy of love. How do you feel when you are filled and flowing with love?
A Container for Loving Others
When self-love has been built, one of the things you will notice is that you have a container to hold the love of others. Love from others will feel authentic and you will attract good, loving people to you. You will also be able to discern who is good for you and good to you. Making healthy choices about who you bring in close to you is an act of self-love.
A Container for Receiving Love
When you have a container for receiving love, you will be able to take in a compliment and hold onto the positive energy that is given to you. Practice taking a compliment without deflecting it by giving one right back. When someone says something nice to you, say “Thank you,” and take it in. If someone says, “I love you,” say “Thank you” and feel that love that has been given to you. You can say “I love you” to them another time - even a few minutes later. When learning self-love it is important to learn how to hold onto the positive energy that is given to you by others. This might feel uncomfortable at first but keep practicing until it feels good. Allow other people to fill your love container, contributing to your flowing love energy.
Some other ways that you can build self-love are to treat yourself like you would treat someone else on a date. Buy yourself flowers or a gift. Take yourself out for dinner, a beautiful hike, or a vacation. You can even send yourself a text, a voicemail, or a card in the mail. Write yourself a beautiful letter. Be creative, finding fun ways to build your self-love.
In my work with clients, I help them to create their lives to be what they want. I help people to become their true selves rather than what their conditioning created. Baggage from the past is resolved and healed. Inner feelings are transformed into the ones that they choose while learning how to maintain a positive inner world. Building self-love, self-worth and self-esteem are essential to healing work.
If you or someone you know would benefit from my help, professional appointments are conveniently available by telephone. More information is available on my website. We can create the excellence you desire in all areas of your life. Contact me today to schedule an appointment.
You can become the person that you choose to be.
Pati McDermott, CHT
© 2022 by Pati McDermott